A Fine Mess
by scottsman
Summary: Take Olga her wisdom tooth, Her hidden feelings, Painkillers a Leaky Nitrous Oxide tank at the Dentist, and throw in Frank who just happens to be selected to give her a ride home and you've got A Fine MessCOMPLETE
1. Default Chapter

Frank Parker stirred and opened his eyes. Then he groaned and immediately shut them again. This was the worst headache he had ever had. The odd thing was that it didn't feel like a hangover headache. It was more like a headache from being dosed. He looked around and saw that he was in the honeymoon suite of the Royal Palms hotel in downtown Vegas. then him memory began to come back. Bradley Talmadge had called Frank into his office and asked if he would take Olga to her dentist to have a wisdom tooth removed. Ramsey and Donovan were too busy and he didn't want Olga trying to drive back in the groggy condition she'd be in after being dosed on Nitrous oxide and painkillers, and as a reward for doing this favor Frank would be allowed to spend the weekend in Vegas at the hotel of his choosing.

Frank Remembered taking Olga to the dentist but after that things were still fuzzy. As his head became clearer he suddenly realized that he wasn't alone in the bed. Someone with velvety skin was laying there with her head resting against his chest.

"Oh great," thought Frank, "I have a Photographic memory and I still miss out on the good stuff." Very carefully he slipped out of bed so as not to wake his companion. He walked over to the bathroom and splashed some cold water on his face then he picked up his toothbrush and began to brush his teeth. That is when he saw the paper that was stuck up on the mirror. Opening it with one hand he began to read while brushing his teeth with the other hand.

**This is to certify that, _Frank Bartholomew Parker_ and _Olga Oksana Vukavitch _were united in the bonds of Holy Matrimony.**

Frank did a massive double take and choked on his toothbrush. Cautious he peeked into the bed room and saw Olga sitting up in bed holding he covers to her chest and looking around with a puzzled expression on her face. The puzzlement turned to shock when she saw the wedding band on her finger.

"Who am I married to?" she gasped at this Frank turned around and flattened himself against the wall like he was on a mission.

"In the words on another more famous time traveler," he said to himself

"OOOH BOY."

**TBC Please leave a review**


	2. Chapter 2

While Frank hid behind the bathroom door trying to figure out how to tell Olga they were married without getting killed, he heard Olga climb out of bed and then he heard the rustle of a robe being put on.

Then to his dismay he heard her coming toward the bathroom. Olga walked into the bathroom and immediately saw the paper lying on the sink where Frank had dropped it. The look on Olga's face when she read what was written on the paper was a mixture of shock, disbelief, and something else that Frank couldn't quite identify.

Before Frank had time to think of an intelligent thing to say Olga turned and saw him.

"Now Olga," said Frank Holding up his hands in defense, "before you fly off the handle I just want you to know that I'm just as puzzled by all of this as you are I can't remember what happened last night either."

"I believe you," said Olga, "but, what is William going to say." Frank gave a barely perceptible flinch at the mention of William Guthrie the wealthy senator that Olga had been dating for the last few months. Frank reminded himself that Olga's happiness was more important to him than his own. William still got on Franks nerves though. Frank had only met William twice and each time William seemed to rub it in that he had money and that he could give Olga the Royal treatment every time that they went out, not that Olga didn't deserve to be treated like a queen, but Frank just got depressed at the thought that he couldn't give Olga all the things that he wanted to give her.

"Mr. Parker." Olga's voice brought Frank out of his musings.

"Olga," he said, "we don't have to tell William or anyone else about this until after we get the marriage annulled, but will have to wait a couple of days to do it. This is a holiday weekend so the annulment courts are closed until Tuesday and this is Friday."

"So, we're stuck being man and wife for three days?" said Olga running her fingers through her hair.

"Yes," said Frank, "but at least we've got a plan."

"Alright," said Olga, "then we agree this marriage stays a secret until Tuesday then it will be annulled." Frank nodded and they shook hands to seal the deal.

"ARRGH!" the shout came from Frank's quarters and the tranquil atmosphere of the N.N.L. corridor was suddenly shattered into a thousand fragments. Ramsey, Talmadge, Olga, and Donovan came running up the corridor to Franks door just in time to see a flood of water come pouring out from under the door. A split second later the door opened and they looked up to see a soaking wet Frank Parker.

"What happened?" asked Talmadge

"The water pipe in the wall behind my shower just split wide open and drenched everything in the room including me I've got the valve closed off but the damage has already been done."

"Ramsey," said Talmadge, "call the plumber and tell him to get down here on the double. Donovan, call the quarter master and get Frank some dry clothes."

"There may be a problem with that," said Ramsey, "today is the plumber's day off he won't be back until tomorrow."

Talmadge furrowed his eyebrows then he looked up.

"Olga," he said, "Frank will camp out on your sofa tonight."

That evening Olga sat at her computer working on an article for the American Physics Journal, while Frank stood bare-chested in the Kitchen repairing a cabinet door that had broken earlier and nearly hit Olga on the head. Olga surreptitiously looked over the top of her laptops monitor at Frank Losing here battle against the strange distracted feeling that she had had ever since he had been there. Her eyes wondered absent-mindedly down his back.

"There that's that," Frank announced laying down the screwdriver and brushing his hands off. Olga snapped out of her preoccupation and quickly looked back at the monitor before Frank could realize that she had been staring at him. When she looked at the screen she was horrified to find that instead of By Dr. Olga Vukavitch she had written By Dr. Olga Parker!"  
"How's it going," said Frank walking around the table so he could see the screen. Olga quickly deleted Parker and wrote Vukavitch before Frank could see it.

"Fine, Fine," she said quickly, relieved that Frank didn't seem to notice her nervousness. She stood up and walked into the kitchen. She began rummaging around in the cabinets until she came across a box of spaghetti.

"Mr. Parker," she said, she turned around just in time to look Frank straight in the eyes. As soon as their eyes met Olga began to feel that distracted feeling again.

"Um D-do like Pasta?" she stammered. Frank flashed his boyish grin.

"I like Pasta very much." He said quietly suddenly feeling nervous himself, was it just him or was Olga softer and more feminine in her mannerisms than usual. He jabbed a thumb nervously over his shoulder in the direction of the bathroom,

"I-I'll Just clean myself up a little." With Frank found himself almost running for the bathroom. Olga put a pot on the stove and when the water was boiling she stuck the spaghetti noodles in to cook. And a few minutes later she had sauce and garlic bread cooking. As the food neared readiness Olga found herself dabbing a little perfume on her neck then she began to brush her hair. Suddenly she stopped dead in her tracks.

"WHAT AM I DOING?" she said to herself. She plopped the brush down on the table resolutely.

"I am not going to primp for Frank Parker she told her reflection. But at the same time she noticed that she had already put on her new blouse and finished combing her hair anyway. Her reflection seemed to smirk at her and say.

"Too late," Olga had just dumped the spaghetti into the strainer and was turning to stir the sauce again when Frank entered the room. Olga stopped in her tracks half way between the pasta and the sauce. Frank was wearing black pants, a Dark blue button up shirt, and a dressy belt with a silver clasp. He had also shaved and put on cologne. Frank had stopped to notice that Olga was wearing a dark skirt and a low cut white blouse with intricate blue designs. But the cutest thing of wall was the fact that she was standing there barefoot. Suddenly at the same moment the realized that they were staring at each other and quickly looked away both blushing.

"Um-the p-pasta is ready," stammered Olga.

"_What is the matter with me,"_ she thought, "_I've never been this nervous with William." _Frank smiled and picking up the dishes began to set the table. Once that was done he walked into the kitchen where Olga was stirring the spaghetti sauce with a wooden spoon. She held up a spoonful for him to taste, but when Frank lightly placed his hand on her wrist to steady her hand she jumped and smeared sauce all over Frank's nose.

"Hey," hollered Frank grabbing for a towel, "that stuff is hot."

"Olga," Clamped a hand over her mouth to stiff the fit of giggling that she was having at the sight of Frank standing there with spaghetti sauce all over his nose.

"Are you laughing at me," said Frank as he cleaned the sauce of off his nose a smile teasing at the corner of his lips, Olga shook her head vigorously but the giggles kept on coming.

"Alright," said Frank with a mischievous grin, "let's see how you look in spaghetti sauce."

When Olga saw Frank grab for the spoon she let out a squeal and took off running. Frank, forgetting about the spoon, ran after Olga. He chased into the living room and around and around the sofa. The whole time they were laughing and giggling like couple of school-kids. Suddenly Frank vaulted over the sofa and grabbed Olga around the waste and they fell back onto the sofa in a giggling heap. In the next instant their eyes met and a split second after that Frank found Olga's arms around hisneck and her lips pressed to his!

**TBC Please Review**


	3. Chapter 3

Frank laid there his mind a mixture of shock and pleasure. Olga was kissing him passionately! Suddenly after several seconds Olga seemed to come to her senses. She abruptly pushed herself up off of him and stood there staring down at a wide-eyed Frank Parker. Frank said the first word that popped into his mind.

"Wow!" he said. Olga immediately turned away her face turning as red as her hair. She ran into her bedroom and shut the door. Frank immediately started mentally kicking himself. He walked over to a full length mirror that hung on the wall.

"_Parker,_" he said to himself, "_you have a big mouth!"_

"_All you said was 'wow' how could that have caused a problem,"_ he answered himself.

"_If I knew the answer to that I wouldn't be standing here talking to myself," _he retorted at his reflection. Suddenly he heard a soft giggle behind him.

Frank whirled around to find that Olga was standing behind him in the doorway watching his discussion with himself.

"How long have you been there?" he asked as he sat down and picked up a book trying to act nonchalant.

"Long enough to hear you discussion with yourself," Olga answered smiling,

"_Why do I feel as nervous as a schoolgirl on her first date?"_ Olga thought she began to fidget nervously,

"_Because," said the voice in her head, "you got to tell Frank that the night before the two of you wound, up married William proposed to you and you accepted!"_

"Mr. Parker," Olga Started Frank looked up and when there eyes met Olga felt week in the knees again,

"What's on your mind," Frank asked they moved around the sofa and sat down on it.

"Mr. Parker," Olga began again, "there is really no easy way to say this so I just going to say it. The night before you and eye got married William and I got engaged."

"I see," said Frank calmly, "well this certainly complicates things doesn't it."

"You're a lot calmer about it than I thought you would be," said Olga Immediately regretting having said it.

"Look Olga," said Frank with a smile, "you don't have to worry about me, yes I am a little jealous, but as long as you're happy I'll be fine." Olga gave Frank a genuine tender smile and gently touched his cheek.

"Thank you," she said, "The wedding is Tuesday."

"What!" said Frank stopping dead in his tracks.

"William's not one for long engagements," said Olga, "so I'll be at the Wedding while you go to the courthouse and Annul our marriage. I can count on you to do that can't I," said Olga.

"Of course," said Frank, "I would never come between you and your chance to be happy, now let's eat."

"My kiss wasn't too bad was it," Olga blurted right out of the blue.

"Uh, d-don't w-worry Olga it was, F-fine." Stammered Frank he turned meaning to walk to the dinner table and promptly fell over the back of the sofa to land flat on his back."

"Your coordination just went out the window at the mere mention of it," quipped Olga with a grin, "that's better than fine!"

Olga stood in the middle of a lavish rehearsal dinner wearing an elegant white evening gown. To her surprise she found herself wondering were Frank was then she rolled her eyes he was probably using that money she had given him to get stoned. She and Frank had found a half a million dollars in cash stashed in Olga's brief case the one she had brought with her with there little jaunt into matrimony had begun. Apparently while she and Frank had been high on nitrous oxide they had done rather well in the casino. Olga had given the money to Frank figuring she wouldn't need it since she was marrying a millionaire anyway. Olga expression was tender.

"_I hope he's alright."_ She thought then her expression became puzzled, "_why am I so worried about him all of a sudden."_ Meanwhile on the other side of the room between the refreshment table and the window Donovan and Ramsey stood talking.

"Come on Donovan," said Ramsey, "you've lost the bet just give me the hundred bucks now."

"You're not getting one red cent from me until the preacher officially pronounces them tomorrow." Retorted Donovan

"You're being ridiculous," said Ramsey, "you bet me that Frank would win Olga's heart and you lost."

"And an old proverb says that a man who counts his chickens before they hatch is a scrambled egg." Retorted Donovan

"Fine," Said Ramsey, "We'll wait until its official tomorrow."

William walked up to Olga and kissed her,

"Is everything alright, dear?" he asked.

"Oh yes," said Olga, "I'm just a little tired,"

"Well," said William looking at his watch, "it is getting late perhaps we shout call it an evening we have a big day tomorrow." Olga smile a smile that she hoped didn't look too much like a forced smile.

Svetlana who was there to be Olga's maid of honor walked over to Donovan and Ramsey,

"I heard the two of you talking earlier," she said, "I know about your bet and I want in, I've got another hundred dollars that says that Frank's her man and William is toast."

"This is going to be the easiest two hundred I ever made," snickered Ramsey.

Olga was confused and tired by the time she finally walked through the door of her quarters. Slipping off her shoes she walked toward the door of the bedroom. Suddenly she stopped dead in her tracks there in the middle of the kitchen table was a beautiful black velvet box that was about 6" by 6" on top of hi was a little note with a white rose and a lavender ribbon tied around the whole works. Walking over to the table she untied the ribbon and after smelling the rose, she opened the box and let out a gasp inside was a beautiful teardrop diamond necklace. Olga sank into a chair holding the necklace as she read the note.

_**Dear Olga,**_

_**I thought that since we'll never celebrate our one year anniversary I could at least give you something for out three day anniversary. You are an incredible woman Olga and even though this whole thing was an accident being your husband has still been an incredible privilege. I'm not there to give these things to you in person because I didn't want to interfere with your wedding preparations. I know that I don't always say what you want to hear. I just wanted you to know how special you are to me.**_

_**I wish you the best in your new life**_

_**Eternally, Yours,**_

_**Frank B. Parker.**_

Olga let the letter fall on to the table as hot tears ran down her cheeks and her head sank into her hands. She never noticed the door behind her being closed.****


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Olga stood in the bridal room on the second floor of the Church all decked out in her wedding dress. She stared at herself like a Zombie. She hadn't slept a wink last night she had spent most of the night pacing in her quarters trying to sort things out in her head. Trying to figure out why Frank's gift and letter had affected her so much. Now she stood there just an hour away from walking down the aisle to pledge her life to William Guthrie.

Walking over to the table she sank into a chair and sat there looking at the cheap dime store wedding ring that that she had worn when she was married to Frank, and that she had been clutching in her hand all morning. Suddenly a knock at the door jarred her out of the thoughts. She went to the door and opened it to find Svetlana standing there.

"Olga," she said, "Are you Okay," Olga was a bit startled at the question.

"Of course I'm alright," she said forcing a smile, but Svetlana just gave her a knowing look.

"Sis," she said, "You're a lousy liar." Olga's shoulders sagged then suddenly she grabbed Svetlana and pulled into the room shutting the door behind her.

"You're right something is bothering me," she said, "and I've to talk to someone about it before I go crazy!"

Olga and Svetlana sat down at the table. Olga took a deep breath before beginning.

"Svetlana," she said, "For the last three days I've been married to Frank Parker."

"WHAT!" Svetlana squealed with delight, "that's wonderful!" Olga clamped a hand over Svetlana's mouth,

"Quiet!" said Olga, "We can't let anyone else find out. The whole thing was an accident anyway."

Svetlana looked puzzled,

"What do you mean it was an accident?"

"Three days ago Frank took me to the dentist to have a wisdom tooth removed. Even though I'm a doctor you know that I'm still a little nervous about going under the knife myself so I asked Frank to stay in the room with me. The next thing I remember was waking up in the Honeymoon suite of the royal palms hotel with a husband and a headache. Apparently the nitrous oxide tank sprung a leak and Frank and I got jazzed up on Laughing gas and painted the town. We closed down two casinos and finished off the evening by getting married."

Svetlana smiled,

"That's actually pretty romantic in a strange sort of way." Olga resisted the urge to smile but failed.

"Yeah I guess it is in an off beat sort of way," she said, "the problem is that everything is back on track now and I should be happy, but I'm not."

"Well," said Svetlana, "Maybe your heart is trying to tell you something but your head won't listen."

"Like what," asked Olga

_Like maybe that you're really in love with Frank Parker and you're too bull-headed to admit it."_ Thought Svetlana out loud she said,

"I think that is something that you'll have to figure out for yourself." With that Svetlana stood up and left the room. Olga stood up and began to pace the floor again she was just walking past the window when she heard voices down below. She pulled the shade back and looked down to see Frank and Donovan standing at the side entrance.

Donovan shook his head,

"Frank," he said, "I can't believe that you are just going to stand by and let Olga marry some other guy!"

"I want Olga to be happy," said Frank "that is what is important to me I'm willing to do without what I want just as long as she has what she wants. Besides how could I compete with William Guthrie? He can give her the world. All she would get from me is the devotion and love of a half crazy chrononaut there is no contest." With that Frank turned and walked down to the corner to hail a taxi cab he had a marriage to annul. Donovan stood there and watched Frank go then she shook his head and walked back into the church. Nether one then saw the drapes of the upstairs window flutter back into place.

Olga stood in front of the mirror and looked at herself all decked out in her wedding gown.

"What am I doing?" she said to herself. She turned away from the mirror and as she did she caught sight of the wedding ring that Frank had given her as it lay there on the table. She looked at it for several seconds then suddenly she whipped off her Veil and head for the door scooping up the ring as she ran.

Svetlana was passing by a window when a flurry of movement caught the corner of her eye. She turned and looked out the window just in time to see Olga piling herself into a taxi cab. A wide smile crossed her face.

"Good for you sis," she said to herself.

Zero Hour, the organ began playing "Here Comes the Bride" and everybody stood and turned toward the aisle as the doors at the rear of the church opened. No one was there. Suddenly one of the ushers came running in.

"The Bride and the maid of honor are both gone!" a gasp rippled through the congregation.

"Where could Olga have gone?" whispered Ramsey

"I don't kn-," began Donovan, then suddenly he stopped short and a wide smile spread across his face. Ramsey looked and the grin on Donovan's face and a look of realization flashed across his face.

"OH NO!"

Frank stepped through the doors of the courthouse and out onto the street. The deed was done and Olga was now free to marry Guthrie. Frank gave a heavy sigh and stared down the steps he got about half down as stopped short there at the bottom of the steps stood Olga wedding dress and all.

"You were right Frank," she said, "There is no contest between you and William." She bounded up the stairs and threw her arms around Frank.

"I'd take the devotion and love of a half crazy Chrononaut over the world any day of the week. I want to spend the rest of my life with you!" Frank didn't say anything he just clutched Olga to him for several seconds. Finally Frank broke the silence.

"If I had known this would happen I wouldn't have gotten that annulment."

Olga just smiled,

"That's easy enough to fix," she said Olga turned around and grabbed a justice of the peace that she saw walking down the steps of the courthouse.

"Excuse me," she said, "would you marry us?" The justice looked more than a little surprised but finally he broke into a smile.

"Sure," he said, He reached into his brief case and pulled out a small black Bible.

"Wait," said another voice, Frank and Olga turned to see Svetlana, Donovan and the rest of the NNL crew hurrying up to the courthouse and up to where they were standing.

"What are you doing here?" asked Olga,

"You didn't think that I would let you get married without your maid of honor, did you?" Replied Svetlana with a smile,

"You need a Best Man too," said Donovan Olga pulled out the ring and handed it to Donovan.

"Here," she whispered, "Give it to Frank when he's ready for it." Frank Handed his ring to Svetlana and told here to do the same.

"Okay," said the Justice when everything was ready, "Since I have no intention of missing dinner I'll give you the short version." He turned to Olga.

"Do you Olga Oksana Vukavitch take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband? Give him the ring." The judge added in a whisper.

"I do." replied Olga as she slipped the ring on to Frank's finger

The Justice turned to Frank and said,

"Do you Franklin Bartholomew Parker take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do." said Frank as he slipped the ring on Olga's finger.

"By the power vested in me," said the Justice, "I now pronounce you man and Wife!" Olga and Frank stood there beaming at each other until the judge whispered,

"This is the part where you kiss her son." Frank shook himself out of his daze and leaning forward brushed his lips across hers.

Olga thanked the judge and then grabbed Frank by the hand pulled him to the corner where she flagged down a taxi. Meanwhile Ramsey was shelling out two hundred bucks to a smirking Donovan and Svetlana.

"Where are we going?" asked Frank as the taxi drove out of sight of the courthouse.

"To the honeymoon suite of the Royal Palms Hotel," Replied Olga, "I want a honeymoon that I can remember!"

"Do you think you're woman enough for the likes of me?" quipped Frank

"Listen, buster," said Olga with a wicked gleam in her eye, "when I get through with you, you won't be able to walk straight for a week."

**THE END**


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